Happy Halloween Everyone!!!

I have had a better day today....still trying to go to the bathroom....UGH....I am stronger today and moving much better...day by day...Have a great day and we'll talk soon...Much love...Summer

Dear Friends,


I had a tough day today....I've had a bladder infection and the bladder spasms have been challenging....I went to the Encinitas Lab this morning and I had an interesting experience...JIm dropped me off in front due to NO PARKING anywhere...as I struggled to step down the steps....a woman immediately helped me to the elevator ....WOW....THANK YOU!!!! Then...I get in the elevator and an older woman...later found out she was 80 something...had her walker and she said " Just hold onto my walker and I'll help you to the lab...I'm going there also..." So...I held onto her walker and made it to the lab....I was so weak and full of bladder pain...after waiting for my turn..I went to the bathroom to give a urine sample and realized that I was slipping on someone else's diarreaha(sp?) and it was all over my shoes and it smelled so bad I almost vomited...at first I thought I had lost control myself...then realized what was happening....it was bizzare...the lab tech came in and cleaned my shoes and took me to get blood and then I started to faint...they were all very kind and helpful...then on the way back down ...another woman helped Jim help me get into a wheel chair and waited with me until Jim got the car...a very different experience than the other day....there is hope...I'll never forget the walker and the woman who said just hold onto my walker I'll help you...WOW...THANK YOU !!!!!!

It turns out that I am responding the the antibiotic that I am on and that my bladder is just spasming ....between constipation and bladder pain...I feel a little worn out....temporary....it should be better by tomorrow....


I hope all of you are feeling great and doing great...can't wait to see you ....Love..Summer

Greetings!!!!

I'm feeling stronger everyday...easier to shower ...easier to walk ...even though it still looks pretty slow...I have my bladder infection back and allergies seem to be working me...small annoyances...I'm sleeping well and eating a little more. Thank you for the amazing food!!!! Many thanks to my tues/thurs Tap Dance class...Sylvania brought over a huge basket of wonderful personal presents and I love every one of them...Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness...Many beautiful flowers....many gestures of love and healing...Thank you so much for all of it!!!! Thank you for rescueing me with night gowns when I couldn't wear anything other than Jim's worn out T - Shirts with my new small flabby butt hanging out...yes...I've lost weight ...now I have to put some muscle back on...it's wierd to lose weight so fast....with all of this amazing food ...I will stay healthy for sure...My husband has never had it so good!!! We are both so grateful for your comments...your phone calls...your emails...your wonderful visits.....I am so blessed to have so much love....you all are truly amazing...I am in awe of your kindness.....Thank you and Namaste...Summer

Hi Everybody,

WOW !!!! What a wild ride this past week. I'm just now finding the strength to write a post. I have been very weak from very little food ...trying hard to eat a little more each day...my stomach is so sensitive and the medicine side effects makes it unappealing. And yet..I'm feeling stronger every day. I have felt your love and powerful healing energy all week. I'm so grateful for your support.

Yesterday I got my staples out.....felt great to get them out...however, leading up to that appointment was another story...We take for granted ...grabbing a quick shower...jumping in the car....running down to La Jolla...no problem....???? It took all my energy just to kneel in the bathtub to get somewhat clean...then..I had to get dressed...oh my GOSH.....I couldn't wear anything that touched my stomach...so ...I looked a little funny going out in public...then...I had to pee so badly and when Jim dropped me off in front of the Ximed building...they didn't have any bathrooms until the 3rd floor...so bladder pain...abdominal pain...wooziness from the drugs and just generally overwhelmed with every sound and smell and person staring at me and yet... not noticing me at the same time.

Jim parked the car and tried to help me to the elevator to the 5th floor...I was getting weaker and weaker...I started to slide down the elevator wall ....he was struggling to help me stay up and no one offerred to help us...he struggled to get me out of the elevator...no one offerred to help us...I struggled trying to walk to the bathroom...it took forever to take a few steps...no one offered to help us and at least 25 people walked by ...staring at us but not noticing us....this continued for quite a while until we finally got into the office when everything changed....they embraced me with total love .....wiped my tears and held me for as long as I needed to recover from what would have been " no big deal" for most of us and yet for millions out there that are going through something similar... A VERY BIG DEAL !!! I am so sad to see that we have become so busy and so involved in our own thoughts and our own personal needs and wants that we have forgotten our manners...we have forgotten our kindess...where is the compasssion? Thankfully, I see it in all of you and I see it in my Dr.s office....but I see less and less when I'm out and about....We all have to take responsibility for this and offer a hand...ask if a stranger needs something...show love and compassion to everyone...I left the office in a wheelchair and with one of the kindest staff members I have every met...so all is well ....and yet

...we have healing work to do for ourselves and our community...no one should feel alone and I think so many people do...I'm lucky to have all of you to hold me up and I am grateful beyond words....what about the people we all stare at and yet not even notice?

I am in pain that I mostly can manage through pain killers.....so if you come to see me don't be worried that I'm drinking...I'm just woozy much of the time...if ..I didn't have to take the pain medicine....I would feel great !!!!

YES,,,it's true....I farted.....not in front of anyone ....I managed to maintain my diginity....even though it's natural....it's a big thing for me to do it in front of you....I have nurtured several of you through your embarrasing farts in classes and it's no problem...but...if it's me ....OH NO!!!!!

I took a sit down shower this morning and I felt awesome...I had the most strength this morning than ever before...I even washed my hair...WOW !!!!

I still can't read very well due to the wooziness caused by the medicine...words just blur on the page...I know that will get better soon....so I can't read for very long or clearly...so watching my favorite shows has been fun. By the way...my DVR was full and it didn't record the Madonna/Oprah show the other day...I have a VCR in my other room...or a DVD if someone has recorded that show...please bring it to me...that would be fun.

Next Step:

I see Dr. Bahador next friday at 1:30 to make a plan....I know I will be doing Chemo...I know it will be for quite a few rounds...that's all I know....I don't know how much work I'll have to miss....lot's of different opinions....for my personal training clients...with flexibility I know I will be able to start you sooner...so ...that will be coming...for classes...I have hope that I will be able to teach yoga before the end of the year...baby steps...I'll let you all know as soon as I know.

My attitude:

When I'm in pain...I'm in that moment of pain...I accept it and I am breathing through it or crying or screaming and then the moment the pain is gone...I am positive and upbeat and already feeling healed. I have not been depressed for one second...I feel healed and I see myself back doing the things that make me and the rest of us happy. I truly believe that what I'm going through is a right of passage to another level of spiritual growth and having empathy for others. My work will deepen and my ability to do my work at a higher level of consciousnes will and has already changed. I know I'm facing a lot and yet ...I feel very blessed every moment. I can look at my beautiful flowers...I can smell my food and my essential oils that make me so happy...I can see the beautiful colors ...I can feel and give love...I am alive and HEALTHY...even though....
I feel amazing and I can't wait to teach all of you again...same me...deeper me...not too emotionally heavy...just right. I can't wait to be your student as well for we are all eachother's teacher. I wish you love and peace in your heart...mostly...I wish for all of us to be the examples that we wish to see in the world...." slow down ...you move to fast...you got to make the morning last ...just skipping down the cobblestone...looking for love and feeling groovy....lalalallalllal....feeling groovy"

In deepest love and gratitude,
Summer

Summer is home! She made a lot of new friends (nurses) and it was a little hard to leave them but she did. She got in the car and put on her sunglasses, hair sticking up, and looked like a movie star clutching a pillow over hospital gowns and fluffy blue socks. After her last pain medication she couldn't stop laughing over the stupidest little shit like:

(in the hospital room)

Summer: Is the air conditioner on medium?

Fatma: Yes, it is on medium.

Summer: Put it on large.

(2 second delay)

Summer: (uncontrolled laughter for 10.5 pregnant pauses)
LARGE!
(more laughter until the addominal staples loosened up ;-))

--------------
Once she got home she realized what an amazing week it has been.

Summer requests that nobody come by the house without calling her first. She doesn't want the door bell going off at all. She will be able to take over the blog real soon.

Thanks again for the support!

Love,

Jim

The eagle has landed! Summer visited the bathroom on her own power today. Dr. Bahador said, "Never fear, Bahador is here!" He then pulled out the hose in her nose and shortly thereafter the catheter was removed. She did a couple walks around the wing. She cannot be stopped, only contained. By tomorrow the doors will have to be barred and watched like a hawk, she could make a break for it. Well, not so fast. She has improved a lot in the last 2 days but is not on solid food yet, just liquids. Most of them taste really bad even after not eating or drinking for a week. Now that's bad.

She feels much better and is sleeping great. Running a slight temperature but pain is not an issue except for coughing and laughing. She likes to laugh too much to let pain get the upper hand. Let's help her laugh; it has been a very long, laughless week. Perhaps in a few days she will be home.

She thanks everyone for their care and support and looks forward to talking to all.
Summer and her class:
<:-() |-: |-: |-: |-: . . . |-:

Love,

Jim

Summer walked! About 20 feet (like 200 tiny steps) out of her room and then back. Sat for about 90 minutes. Temperature is down. Watching Ellen. Sleeping beauty. The earth must be back in its orbit.

Summer asked for me to be forthcoming on the big picture. She has stage 3C ovarian cancer. The surgery was very successful however this is not the beginning of the end but is rather the end of the beginning. Chemotherapy will begin in a matter of weeks. Six cycles over the course of a year. And, yes, she will lose her beautiful hair. She is in great spirits even with the uphill climb aheah.

She thanks everyone for their support.

Love,

Jim

Got back around 6:30 am. Another long night again. Summer was running a temperature north of 101 so they took blood and urine samples. She was feeling something around the bladder. Her white blood count was 11, very high for her. The results indicated a bladder infection so antibiotics were ordered. Pain was still an issue last night but Tylenol turned out to work pretty well on top of the low concentration i.v. drip of Fentenyl and the abdominal release from her surgically-implanted On-Q bag.

The big news is she walked and was able to sit upright for around an hour! I expect she will be strolling down the hall today. Knowing her she will just keep on going like the Everyready rabbit and walk home to get on the bike! ;-)

The next major event will be her first fart. Yeah, that's right--farting is key. The digestive system's way of saying, "Open for Business." When that happens the nose tube will come out and she will soon be getting fluids and then chow. Yummy chow (she wants Jimbo's instead.)

She says hi to all thanks everyone for their prayers and thoughts.

Until next post,

Love,

Jim

Got back around 6:30 am. Another long night again. Summer was running a temperature north of 101 so they took blood and urine samples. She was feeling something around the bladder. Her white blood count was 11, very high for her. The results indicated a bladder infection so antibiotics were ordered. Pain was still an issue last night but Tylenol turned out to work pretty well on top of the low concentration i.v. drip of Fentenyl and the abdominal release from her surgically-implanted On-Q bag.

The big news is she walked and was able to sit upright for around an hour! I expect she will be strolling down the hall today. Knowing her she will just keep on going like the Everyready rabbit and walk home to get on the bike! ;-)

The next major event will be her first fart. Yeah, that's right--farting is key. The digestive system's way of saying, "Open for Business." When that happens the nose tube will come out and she will soon be getting fluids and then chow. Yummy chow (she wants Jimbo's instead.)

She says hi to all thanks everyone for their prayers and thoughts.

Until next post,

Love,

Jim

Got back around 6:30 am. Another long night again. Summer was running a temperature north of 101 so they took blood and urine samples. She was feeling something around the bladder. Her white blood count was 11, very high for her. The results indicated a bladder infection so antibiotics were ordered. Pain was still an issue last night but Tylenol turned out to work pretty well on top of the low concentration i.v. drip of Fentenyl and the abdominal release from her surgically-implanted On-Q bag.

The big news is she walked and was able to sit upright for around an hour! I expect she will be strolling down the hall today. Knowing her she will just keep on going like the Everyready rabbit and walk home to get on the bike! ;-)

The next major event will be her first fart. Yeah, that's right--farting is key. The digestive system's way of saying, "Open for Business." When that happens the nose tube will come out and she will soon be getting fluids and then chow. Yummy chow (she wants Jimbo's instead.)

She says hi to all thanks everyone for their prayers and thoughts.

Until next post,

Love,

Jim

Got home this morning around 7. Summer has had a couple of rough nights. The pain medication slowed her breathing down so much they had to go from from push-button on demand by the patient to an injection thru the i.v. but one every 7 hours. This has only worked a little; she still has a pain level of 4 to 5 on a 0-10 scale most of the time.

She moved from her back to her side a few times, all a warm-up for sitting on the edge of the bed and then finally taking that one small step for womenkind. ;-) Her blood pressure is normally quite low and this (just sitting) will be hard to do especially after being on her back for over 48 hours straight.

"Diet" is strictly by i.v., she got dehydrated last night from sweating, running a temperature of 99 and change which is over a degree high for her. They added more fluids. Her throat is really dry and with the tube in the nose there is a little bleeding but the tube will stay in for a while. Still not allowed to drink a drop of water.

From all of this, sleep has been hard to come by. It is quite at night but still there is a lot of interruption from the nurses doing the rounds. During the day is another matter; they were doing a fire alarm test nearly all day!! Unbelievable, but true. Not super loud but loud enough when you factor in all the intercom "this is a drill" b.s.

I will be heading back over there now. Summer really appreciates all the support. Thanks so much!

Love,

Jim

Just got back home around an hour ago. Here is how the day went. Heavy traffic getting down there, a couple of accidents. Now fathom this: during admissions the admissions clerk said that insurance had not approved the surgery--not in my wildest dreams is such a nightmare possible. Buddha, are you kidding me? Before a total meltdown, Dr. Bahador, Summer's surgeon, miraculously walked through, heard about it, and left to make some calls. 10 minutes later he got to the bottom of it and the meltdown was put on pause. All systems go now after that.

She entered surgery at 11 am in very good spirits as well as the surgical team and Dr. Bahador came out at around 3:30. He removed the two tumors and everything else threatening. No bowel resection was required so that will aid recovery a lot.

She started to respond around 6:30 but was kind on in and out for several hours. When I left she wanted the lights off. I left her in good hands with nurses. A successful day. Now the recovery phase begins.

Summer and I thank you all for your energy blessings!

Love,

Jim

testing this new site