Hi Everybody,
WOW !!!! What a wild ride this past week. I'm just now finding the strength to write a post. I have been very weak from very little food ...trying hard to eat a little more each day...my stomach is so sensitive and the medicine side effects makes it unappealing. And yet..I'm feeling stronger every day. I have felt your love and powerful healing energy all week. I'm so grateful for your support.
Yesterday I got my staples out.....felt great to get them out...however, leading up to that appointment was another story...We take for granted ...grabbing a quick shower...jumping in the car....running down to La Jolla...no problem....???? It took all my energy just to kneel in the bathtub to get somewhat clean...then..I had to get dressed...oh my GOSH.....I couldn't wear anything that touched my stomach...so ...I looked a little funny going out in public...then...I had to pee so badly and when Jim dropped me off in front of the Ximed building...they didn't have any bathrooms until the 3rd floor...so bladder pain...abdominal pain...wooziness from the drugs and just generally overwhelmed with every sound and smell and person staring at me and yet... not noticing me at the same time.
Jim parked the car and tried to help me to the elevator to the 5th floor...I was getting weaker and weaker...I started to slide down the elevator wall ....he was struggling to help me stay up and no one offerred to help us...he struggled to get me out of the elevator...no one offerred to help us...I struggled trying to walk to the bathroom...it took forever to take a few steps...no one offered to help us and at least 25 people walked by ...staring at us but not noticing us....this continued for quite a while until we finally got into the office when everything changed....they embraced me with total love .....wiped my tears and held me for as long as I needed to recover from what would have been " no big deal" for most of us and yet for millions out there that are going through something similar... A VERY BIG DEAL !!! I am so sad to see that we have become so busy and so involved in our own thoughts and our own personal needs and wants that we have forgotten our manners...we have forgotten our kindess...where is the compasssion? Thankfully, I see it in all of you and I see it in my Dr.s office....but I see less and less when I'm out and about....We all have to take responsibility for this and offer a hand...ask if a stranger needs something...show love and compassion to everyone...I left the office in a wheelchair and with one of the kindest staff members I have every met...so all is well ....and yet
...we have healing work to do for ourselves and our community...no one should feel alone and I think so many people do...I'm lucky to have all of you to hold me up and I am grateful beyond words....what about the people we all stare at and yet not even notice?
I am in pain that I mostly can manage through pain killers.....so if you come to see me don't be worried that I'm drinking...I'm just woozy much of the time...if ..I didn't have to take the pain medicine....I would feel great !!!!
YES,,,it's true....I farted.....not in front of anyone ....I managed to maintain my diginity....even though it's natural....it's a big thing for me to do it in front of you....I have nurtured several of you through your embarrasing farts in classes and it's no problem...but...if it's me ....OH NO!!!!!
I took a sit down shower this morning and I felt awesome...I had the most strength this morning than ever before...I even washed my hair...WOW !!!!
I still can't read very well due to the wooziness caused by the medicine...words just blur on the page...I know that will get better soon....so I can't read for very long or clearly...so watching my favorite shows has been fun. By the way...my DVR was full and it didn't record the Madonna/Oprah show the other day...I have a VCR in my other room...or a DVD if someone has recorded that show...please bring it to me...that would be fun.
Next Step:
I see Dr. Bahador next friday at 1:30 to make a plan....I know I will be doing Chemo...I know it will be for quite a few rounds...that's all I know....I don't know how much work I'll have to miss....lot's of different opinions....for my personal training clients...with flexibility I know I will be able to start you sooner...so ...that will be coming...for classes...I have hope that I will be able to teach yoga before the end of the year...baby steps...I'll let you all know as soon as I know.
My attitude:
When I'm in pain...I'm in that moment of pain...I accept it and I am breathing through it or crying or screaming and then the moment the pain is gone...I am positive and upbeat and already feeling healed. I have not been depressed for one second...I feel healed and I see myself back doing the things that make me and the rest of us happy. I truly believe that what I'm going through is a right of passage to another level of spiritual growth and having empathy for others. My work will deepen and my ability to do my work at a higher level of consciousnes will and has already changed. I know I'm facing a lot and yet ...I feel very blessed every moment. I can look at my beautiful flowers...I can smell my food and my essential oils that make me so happy...I can see the beautiful colors ...I can feel and give love...I am alive and HEALTHY...even though....
I feel amazing and I can't wait to teach all of you again...same me...deeper me...not too emotionally heavy...just right. I can't wait to be your student as well for we are all eachother's teacher. I wish you love and peace in your heart...mostly...I wish for all of us to be the examples that we wish to see in the world...." slow down ...you move to fast...you got to make the morning last ...just skipping down the cobblestone...looking for love and feeling groovy....lalalallalllal....feeling groovy"
In deepest love and gratitude,
Summer
WOW !!!! What a wild ride this past week. I'm just now finding the strength to write a post. I have been very weak from very little food ...trying hard to eat a little more each day...my stomach is so sensitive and the medicine side effects makes it unappealing. And yet..I'm feeling stronger every day. I have felt your love and powerful healing energy all week. I'm so grateful for your support.
Yesterday I got my staples out.....felt great to get them out...however, leading up to that appointment was another story...We take for granted ...grabbing a quick shower...jumping in the car....running down to La Jolla...no problem....???? It took all my energy just to kneel in the bathtub to get somewhat clean...then..I had to get dressed...oh my GOSH.....I couldn't wear anything that touched my stomach...so ...I looked a little funny going out in public...then...I had to pee so badly and when Jim dropped me off in front of the Ximed building...they didn't have any bathrooms until the 3rd floor...so bladder pain...abdominal pain...wooziness from the drugs and just generally overwhelmed with every sound and smell and person staring at me and yet... not noticing me at the same time.
Jim parked the car and tried to help me to the elevator to the 5th floor...I was getting weaker and weaker...I started to slide down the elevator wall ....he was struggling to help me stay up and no one offerred to help us...he struggled to get me out of the elevator...no one offerred to help us...I struggled trying to walk to the bathroom...it took forever to take a few steps...no one offered to help us and at least 25 people walked by ...staring at us but not noticing us....this continued for quite a while until we finally got into the office when everything changed....they embraced me with total love .....wiped my tears and held me for as long as I needed to recover from what would have been " no big deal" for most of us and yet for millions out there that are going through something similar... A VERY BIG DEAL !!! I am so sad to see that we have become so busy and so involved in our own thoughts and our own personal needs and wants that we have forgotten our manners...we have forgotten our kindess...where is the compasssion? Thankfully, I see it in all of you and I see it in my Dr.s office....but I see less and less when I'm out and about....We all have to take responsibility for this and offer a hand...ask if a stranger needs something...show love and compassion to everyone...I left the office in a wheelchair and with one of the kindest staff members I have every met...so all is well ....and yet
...we have healing work to do for ourselves and our community...no one should feel alone and I think so many people do...I'm lucky to have all of you to hold me up and I am grateful beyond words....what about the people we all stare at and yet not even notice?
I am in pain that I mostly can manage through pain killers.....so if you come to see me don't be worried that I'm drinking...I'm just woozy much of the time...if ..I didn't have to take the pain medicine....I would feel great !!!!
YES,,,it's true....I farted.....not in front of anyone ....I managed to maintain my diginity....even though it's natural....it's a big thing for me to do it in front of you....I have nurtured several of you through your embarrasing farts in classes and it's no problem...but...if it's me ....OH NO!!!!!
I took a sit down shower this morning and I felt awesome...I had the most strength this morning than ever before...I even washed my hair...WOW !!!!
I still can't read very well due to the wooziness caused by the medicine...words just blur on the page...I know that will get better soon....so I can't read for very long or clearly...so watching my favorite shows has been fun. By the way...my DVR was full and it didn't record the Madonna/Oprah show the other day...I have a VCR in my other room...or a DVD if someone has recorded that show...please bring it to me...that would be fun.
Next Step:
I see Dr. Bahador next friday at 1:30 to make a plan....I know I will be doing Chemo...I know it will be for quite a few rounds...that's all I know....I don't know how much work I'll have to miss....lot's of different opinions....for my personal training clients...with flexibility I know I will be able to start you sooner...so ...that will be coming...for classes...I have hope that I will be able to teach yoga before the end of the year...baby steps...I'll let you all know as soon as I know.
My attitude:
When I'm in pain...I'm in that moment of pain...I accept it and I am breathing through it or crying or screaming and then the moment the pain is gone...I am positive and upbeat and already feeling healed. I have not been depressed for one second...I feel healed and I see myself back doing the things that make me and the rest of us happy. I truly believe that what I'm going through is a right of passage to another level of spiritual growth and having empathy for others. My work will deepen and my ability to do my work at a higher level of consciousnes will and has already changed. I know I'm facing a lot and yet ...I feel very blessed every moment. I can look at my beautiful flowers...I can smell my food and my essential oils that make me so happy...I can see the beautiful colors ...I can feel and give love...I am alive and HEALTHY...even though....
I feel amazing and I can't wait to teach all of you again...same me...deeper me...not too emotionally heavy...just right. I can't wait to be your student as well for we are all eachother's teacher. I wish you love and peace in your heart...mostly...I wish for all of us to be the examples that we wish to see in the world...." slow down ...you move to fast...you got to make the morning last ...just skipping down the cobblestone...looking for love and feeling groovy....lalalallalllal....feeling groovy"
In deepest love and gratitude,
Summer
posted by Summer @ 9:52 AM
11 Comments:
At 11:07 AM,
Anonymous said…
You are amazing. I have a customer who's wife went through this last year. He is willing to talk and answer questions if you wish or you can probably talk with her to get a survivors view. Let me know if you want a phone or e-mail. Love you Cheryl
At 7:24 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dearest Summer:
What a joy, Summer, to see and feel your words. I can't imagine the strength it took for you to write this beautiful update. You bathe us in love.
The story of your ordeal going to your doctor's appointment points out how insensitive the world has become. Through your words and example, we can each make a difference.
You look so much stronger! Your progress is amazing. You are quite a vision, in your Victorian nightgown, surrounded by all the beautiful flower arrangements and thoughtful gifts from those who care so deeply for you.
And, Jim, dear caregiver to our Summer. Thank you for your sweet, quiet love and devotion to the one we hold so dear. We love you, too.
Susan
At 10:04 PM,
Anonymous said…
Summer,
Its amazing what can happen over two weeks..you have such graciousness and strength. I think we all dug a little deeper in our souls these past two weeks. Even while you were in the hospital its really awesome that you still can teach us, guide us, and help us find what we need inside ourselves. Your an inspiration and a very very special friend for all of us. Its great to hear from you again.
Love,
Amy J
Lov
At 1:24 AM,
Anonymous said…
I have a good person story to share with you. Unbelievable really. I was at the dog park and 2 big dogs got in a fight. Five people jumped out of their chairs and all of us were just wailing on those dogs and we got them apart. In 15 years I have never, ever seen anyone even lift a finger to help me break up dogs in dogfights except for this one time. I think those tuned out people were in the elevator with you today!! If my 4 fearless dog people had been there, we would have held you up. Hang in there Summer! Food is just around the corner.
At 7:25 AM,
Anonymous said…
Wow Summer you continue to amaze. So many people would be only concerned with themselves at a time life this, but you still keep on teaching. Thanks for the words about stopping to help someone during difficult times. It's a reality check. Good luck with your recovery and we'll be dancing again soon. Love Roxie
At 9:38 AM,
Anonymous said…
Summer, your insights and wisdom continue to teach and touch us deeply. Keep getting stronger everyday...love you, miss you, will see you soon, Annie
At 9:38 AM,
Anonymous said…
Summer, your insights and wisdom continue to teach and touch us deeply. Keep getting stronger everyday...love you, miss you, will see you soon, Annie
At 10:45 AM,
Anonymous said…
Summer,
I'm so happy to hear of the great success you have had in the latest journey through life. You are not alone as I'm sure that you know. Please lean on us for whatever you need,...love...support...food. We've got it all to share with you.
My biggest success this morning so far is figuring out how to post a message on this blog. In my attempt at writing a message, I think I created my own blog site...why??? I don't know.
I love you and hope to see you soon.
Big hugs and kisses!
Desiree
At 3:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hi Summer, You are blessed with strength and a great sense of humor, I really look forward to meeting you one day and would be happy to be with you for your first chemo session. Dawn is the most amazingly compassionate nurse and it is always such a pleasure for me to be in her presence. Every day will be easier and I so remember when I could hardly do anything but today my life is filled with joy every day amd I know yours will be as well.
Naomi
At 9:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
Summer and Jim,
You both been in my thoughts all day. Thanks for being who you are.
There is a reason for the two of you being on this Earth and one part of it has to do with how much you help other people. Both of you, Summer and Jim, have significantly helped me refocus my energy. I learned some new lessons today and was guided by your wisdom.
Summer, I Spirit Dance in my own way when I walk all my dogs...thats where I find my energy and balance.
Love Amy J.
At 3:11 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hello Summer,
I miss you and wish I could be in San Diego more often to see you! Jim and I send you our love and prayers. We will keep reading your blog and checking on you.
with love,Judi and Jimmy Reynolds
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