Dear Friends,

What a wonderful day...I actually felt like a real person today...I had the best day....I woke up feeling like just maybe...I could get outside and do something on my own. I have had insomnia and migraines and I have'nt felt like getting out and moving at all...not even walking.
This morning was different...I didn't have a headache or a stomach ache....I actually had some strength...so...I drove myself to get some blood work in Encinitas...I haven't driven by myself since the day before surgery...over 6 weeks ago...WOW...if felt liberating....I still felt strong after the blood work so I ran an errrand then....I went to my tap class....I tap danced today....can you believe it???? I didn't go wild or anything...I was careful and I still moved my feet...I didn't over do but I did feel amazing tap dancing with my tap friends who are loving and kind and amazing women...I felt wonderful and I still do...it helped me so much...I can't believe it...then...I had a manicure/ pedicure and the women there were loving and caring and hugged me and lifted me and created another healing environment for me...I feel so good!!!

Yesterday...I took a shower and was towel drying my hair and I noticed hair all over me and the floor and realized after a few minutes that my hair is starting to fall out...I have only had 1 chemo so this is early....however...it does happen and it's happening to me...even my pubic hair is falling out every time I go to the bathroom...I knew it was coming...I just think one is never really ready for the reality of it...I'll be fine once it's gone...it's very traumatic while it's happening...so...I go back to Michele...My hair guy and he'll cut it super short now....so...it will be easier for it to fall out the rest of the way...it's quite painful for my scalp...my hair is so thick ...I think I need another hair cut step to let it go...who knows...it may be gone by tomorrow...so here we go...the next step...It will be ok....it's very weird that's all...I have my cute beanies ready to go and my awesome wigs....it will be fun...eventually...

My new insurance starts tomorrow...Decmber 1st...I return to Dr. Bahador and the original office of healing that I have come to love so much...I basically start the chemo consultation again with him and we set our healing plans in motion...I am so excited about this ...next week ...port on wednesday morning and chemo in the afternoon...only 7 more to go...YEAH!!!!

I miss you all so much....

Dan and Robin...I just received your wonderful present on my porch this afternoon...thank you so much...

I look forward to seeing you soon....stay in touch with me...tell me about your lives...I really want to know...it makes me feel good to hear about real life...not just my situation...

Always sending love back to you....Love...Summer

...still feeling good...thankful for that...I decided not to go to the last Dr. appointment at Scripps Green...returning to Dr. Bahador on Friday...returning to the house of healing...enjoying this beautiful weather...cleansing rain and amazing clouds...my favorite...cooking up my next batch of herbs...tastes horrible...but...feeling much better...thank you Dr. Tsai...have a great day....Much love to you .....Summer

I still feel pretty good...YEAH!!!! Have a great Sunday...Love...Summer

Hi Everyone!!!!

How are you all of you? I'm still feeling mostly better...I have waves of abdominal cramps and waves of pain...then...I feel pretty good...always moment by moment...

Next week...Monday...appointment with Oncology at Green...discuss lab results etc..Thursday...I have a dental appointment...Friday...Finally...I meet with Dr. Bahador again to return to his care and his office for chemo...YEAH!!!

What I know so far....Wednesday ...December 6th...Port put in am...chemo following ...will be another very long day...I will have Dawn...the amazing chemo nurse and I will be back where I feel the best healing environment possible...my new insurance starts friday December 1st...so things are coming together..

Another list of thank you's to those of you bringing food every other day...flowers on my door step...love calls and love emails....some of you have sent very personal and thoughtful gifts and financial gifts as well...I am so grateful...

If you wish to visit...please email me or call my cell...and we can arrange a good time...it's best that you tell me when you can come rather than ask me when a good time would be...unless I have appointments...I am here...unless I'm not feeling well...I would love to see you...remember to read the blog entry about what to do when you get here and to not come if you're sick or even a little sick....my white count is dropping now and I have to be even more careful...

Remember to tell me what is happening in your life...I miss talking to you ...I miss seeing you...I want to stay involved in your life!!!! You can email me if you don't want to post it....

Have a wonderful weekend and perhaps I'll see some of you soon...

Much love,
Summer

Greetings,

Well...as of 5 am ....today is the best day so far....1 week since Chemo...I have an acupuncture appt. today which should be great...

Thanks for everything..food...love...support...

Happy Thanksgiving....Much love...Summer

Dear Friends,

Thankfully....today has been a better day...WHEW....I never knew how much pain I could handle...the past 3 days have been very difficult...hopefully...I will continue to feel an improvement until the next Chemo...I am so grateful for today...sending love out to all of you...Love..Summer

Dear Friends,

I was hoping to escape these terrible side effects...it hit me about 9 pm on thursday evening...and has been consistently challenging since then...I don't have much in me right now to blog more...I can feel your support...hope to see or talk with you soon...love...Summer

Dear Friends,


Well...I made it through my first Chemo....I was ready to embrace this step on Wednesday...I had insomnia on tuesday night due to some pre-chemo meds that they gave me...so when the alarm went off at 5am...I had just fallen asleep at 4:30 when I last looked at the clock...so needless to say ...I was not ready to go at all much less get up...I behaved and did it anyway and I felt pretty good even without the sleep...I figured I would sleep all day at chemo anyway...


On the road and traffic was a nightmare...oh well....finally made it there..Lab work prior to my chemo appointment proved to be a challenge due to collapsing veins that had acutally started in the hospital...I used to have amazing veins...so they tried to get blood from my hand and it collapsed...after some interesting pain we finally got some drizzils (sp?) of blood that would or would not end up enough to work with...so off to chemo...everyone was ready for me and I proceeded....when the nurse was preparing my first bag....pre-meds....anti-nausea ect...it hit me that I was really there and I started to cry...I guess that's all I needed and that was over and I was upbeat and ready to go...unbelievable...first bag.....oh and by the way ...it turned out that my chemo nurse was a expert vein finder...and she found one in my other arm on her first try....WHEW...so...second bag ....benedryl ect....this started to make me feel funny..I got reckless legs syndrome which is really restless legs syndrome....but it felt reckless to me...hahaha...then I got hyper when I was supposed to get drowsy...so I was everything drowsy and hyper and my legs were jumping around...then that calmed down and then my first bag of chemo was ready to go...Taxel....I did great ....we had to drip it very slow...due to burning and pain in my arm....that was the worst of it...so instead of 3 hours for that bag...it was over 4 hours...then...the last bag...carbo plastin....regular speed and over within the hour....I had my full chemo for 7 hours plus the hour early for the lab work....LONG ASS DAY....I DID GREAT...even this morning ...after another night of insomnia...I feel great...from what I hear....this won't last too long....but I'll take it for now...


I will have an acupuncture treatment today...yeah...with Dr. TSai of course...and I'll take it hour by hour...day by day...I have no idea how my body will respond...


IMPORTANT NEWS!!!!


My white count is already showing low...even though a low white count is normal for me...the chemo will drop it even lower...not good...I am suseptible to colds...flu...anything really...I need your help to stay healthy ...I don't want to have to miss any treatments due to a set back or worse....so these are the rules:


When you come to visit...regardless as to the reason....personal visits...dropping off food...personal training...classes...ect... you must:


WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE TOUCHING ME...you may use the bathroom to the left as you walk in or in the kitchen when you come back for a visit...or when we have classes...the bathrooms provided at each location...


PLEASE DON'T COME SICK TO ANY LOCATION esp. for those of you with small children that may be getting sick...wait a few days to make sure you are not contagious...please take this seriously...I want to see you but I would rather talk to you on the phone if you have the slightest doubt that you may be catching something....we all know that right before we get sick...there are subtle symptoms right before...so...just pay attention to those subtle details...so even if you have a slight sore throat ...or no big deal sniffles...just be sure....I have to be extremely careful....especially in this next stage and with a white count already low...


PLEASE DON'T PREPARE FOOD ON DAYS YOU ARE SICK call me or Fatma and we can switch you with someone else...for the same reasons as above...

As much as I want the visits...I won't know if I can visit until that day or hour...please forgive me if I have to cancel you at the last minute...for those of you training with me...I will follow this with a personal email so we have a plan to start training again...

Once again ...thank you for your incredible energy and love... I could feel it yesterday...maybe that is why I got through another difficult day....keep it coming....

I will have regular chemo appointments every 3 weeks with possible lab work and other shots inbetween with Dr.s appointments inbetween as well...so ....busy and hectic sometimes and other times there will be longer stretches to rest and deal with the side effects...

Have a wonderful week thursday and friday and a great weekend...Much love...Summer

Dear Friends,

The time is here. I start Chemo tomorrow, November 15th...I'll be there all day...Scripps Green..Anderson outpatient clinic 3rd floor oncology...my new...(temporary) oncology Dr. ...Dr. Miller...head of oncology....nice enough...will be my Dr. until November 30th...The chemo location...above mentioned...will also be a temporary location....and then....

My new insurance kicks in December 1st and I can go back to the loving environment of Dr. Bahador and the infamous chemo nurse , Dawn...she's truly an angel nurse and I can't wait to return to what I trust and what is familier to me ...I feel like they care that I live...I feel like they care that I am there...they are amazing...

So...for now...I will be at this other location and I will be loving and kind and receptive to a different environment...I know it will be ok....

Sunday...Michel...my loving hair guy...has been through lots of wonderful challenges with me....met me on Sunday afternoon and we cut my pony tail off and lovingly placed it in a bag to send to Locks of Love....he almost ruined a pair of scissors cutting my hair...thick crazy hair...my temporary new hair cut is awesome and cute and fun and happy....

I also met with The Brighter Side and picked out 2 adorable wigs and felt great about taking the next step that will prepare me to have a new bald do and even more fun with new looks...bald...fun wigs...fun hats...

I won't know how the Chemo will effect me until I know...if you come to see me and I don't look so good...or I don't feel so good...please remember it's the Chemo and not me...don't worry ...I will have to remind myself constantly that it's the drugs...I feel so good right now it's so bizzare that I will be vollunteering to feel like crap...and yet...My intuition ...my bizzare way of understanding logic and making decisions is still telling me to walk this mysterious path...I am also just as ready to embrace the world of alternative healing for I know there is power in the mind and the ability to heal from that power can not be ignored. For now...I will intergrate all of these possible healing modalities and trust that I am on the path that I am meant to on...so ...

Join me in this new step ...continue to send me healing love as I will continue to send it right back to you...for ...we are all in this together...just learning how to love deeper ...love more...and to really mean it...if you have questions or you are not sure what to say...just say your truth...that is always the best way for me to handle anything...

Think of me tomorrow between 9am and 4pm...send me anti nausea energy...hahahaha...

Have a beautiful day tomorrow...I will know you are with me and I will always be ready and willing to be there for you as you may need support...many of you are having challenges and we are in touch...please know that this level of reciprocation is really what life is all about...taking turns holding each other up...I am grateful for the chance to take LOVE to another level.

Namaste,
Summer

Dear Friends,


WOW!!! What a day...lots to share...need a few days to process the details. Until that time...I'll update you with some info...


I met the head of Oncology over at the Anderson Outpatient Scripps Clinic...I met the chemo nurse and saw the Chemo area...I will start my Chemo without a port for now....Wednesday...November 15th... all day ...8am for lab work and 9am ish for the first chemo...should take 6 hours for chemo ...so...all day...after that ...I'll get my port ...hopefully...and then only 7 more rounds to go...


Again...Sunday I cut my hair and Monday I have an appointment at " The brighter side" to choose a few wigs and some warm beenies...getting ready...I will lose my hair at any time following the first chemo...bald is looking pretty good now...


Even with the extra eating ...I lost another pound...hopefully...I can maintain now...


I just went on the longest walk so far...it felt great...so ...still getting stronger...


I hope you are all feeling great...sending much love always....


Love,
Summer

Good Evening,


Another great day...great food has been coming as well as loving support...the generosity is amazing and so much appreciated. I went on yet another walk that shows me I am stronger...still small steps but getting better and better. I am grateful every moment for every thing...Thank you seems so limited ....


This Sunday ....the guy that cuts and colors my hair is meeting me at a special time to honor my privacy...I will be tying my hair in a pony tail and cutting it off...this way I can donate it to most likely " locks of love" or at least something like that...then...we will creatively style my new short hair to prepare for going bald...WOW...if you see any crazy fun wigs or scarfs or ....send them my way...I'm ready to have fun with this...

I still don't have the details of the port surgery date or the first day of chemo...I should know soon...


I hope all of you are doing great...I miss teaching and I miss you all so much...it's quite possible that I will be able to teach once I sense the effects of the chemo...we'll be back together soon...and with even more love than we had before...everything is a gift ....everything can be a blessing...I have already felt deeper love and have more appreciation for every moment of my life...

Greetings,


Today was the best day so far since surgery...great energy....better appetite...walked with more strength...it was a wonderful day...sending love to all of you...stay in touch...Love..Summer

Hi Everyone !!!!

I had a great day yesterday...I walked longer and covered more distance since the surgery...it's still a shuffle and it's only my little neighborhood street...but it feels like so much more than that...YEAH!!

My stomach feels better ...finally started going to the bathroom...what a relief....now I can eat a little more...still small servings....my stomach is so sensitive...

I get my port in my chest sometime this week...I'll keep you posted...if you want to come visit...please call or email...I'm feeling stronger ...

How are all of you??? What's been going on ????Tell me about your life....even the boring stuff...

Stay in touch...I love hearing from you!!!

Love,

Summer

Dear Friends,

I haven't felt strong enough to blog the last few days...sorry ...I know some of you have been concerned. Although, in general ...I am getting stronger everyday...I have moments of increased pain or and fatigue and when it hits...I just have to wait it out...It takes a lot for me to email so ...I have been pacing myself.

I saw my Dr. yesterday....yes....Dr. Bahahdor...he's so amazing!!!!

The pathology came back in great detail...I will only briefly go over the basics...

Cancer was found in the ovaries....omentum...peritineum...fallopian tubes...uterus..and fluid in surrounding areas....what was taken out: ovaries...fallopian tubes...uterus...cervix...appendix...omentum....peritineum...16 lymph nodes...I think that's about it...I was told that it was in the lymph nodes...great news...it was not in the lymph nodes...

My Ca-125 which is an ovarian cancer marker...was 3,350.00....normal is 35 or under...mine has gone down to 350 just from the surgery...this is great news!!! Obviously there are microscopic cells that are hanging on...which is why Chemo is the next step...

I will get the chest Port put in next week sometime...waiting on insurance approvals...then...one round of Chemo will be done within my HMO insurance...I think through Scripps Green....the other rounds will be done within my Dr.'s office...My insurance is changing from an HMO to a PPO within 3 weeks...the timing isn't great between the 2...it would be nice if I could just start Chemo from one location...so...we're working out the kinks with the 2 locations....Most likely ...I will start Chemo next week or at the latest...the week of the 13th...they say I will need 8 rounds of Chemo every 3 weeks...some will be through my chest port and some directly through my belly...I won't know what to expect re: the side effects...I won't know until I know...I hear positive things ...we'll see...

I'm still losing weight...I have had lots of gastric pain...constipation ...it's very hard to eat when it makes your stomach hurt...the bladder pain is good...It seems to be better...I really want to gain a few pounds or at least maintain until Chemo starts...I've lost about 14 lbs...I never thought I would be wanting to gain weight...WOW....

The car rides have really caused me a lot of Pain....everytime I have to go to the Dr's or out for tests...it takes hours to recover...I hope that will improve soon. My incision is healing super well...it looks awesome...it still hurts ...I know this pain will pass soon...Everyone was kind this time...I was able to walk to my appointment this time...instead of being brought up or down in a wheelchair...

I mostly have been improving...my attitude is still great ...I appreciate your awesome support!!!
Let me know if you want to visit ...I gave my phone number on a previous email...feel free to call my cell anytime...

Much love...Summer

Good Morning,

I feel great!!! My bladder pain is almost gone...I went to the bathroom ....finally....I feel like a new person. My energy is better and better...I take pain medicine at longer intervals now...YEAH!!! Now...I need to improve the distance that I can walk...I'm still fairly weak...yet...I'm still improving every day. It looks like a beautiful day...Thanks again for all of your love and your support...it's amazing!!!!! Have a wonderful day!!!!

Love,
Summer