Dear Friends,
I have GREAT news!!!!
My CA-125 is still 5... at this time I am still Cancer FREE... the focus is to maintain my status so that the possibility of re-occurrence becomes a smaller and smaller percentage...eventually...not possible at all.
I am healthy and clear...the transparency of clean cells is what I see...that's all that matters today...living in the moment...day to day...surrendering to the blessing of what having an illness can offer you...the wisdom that comes with coming face to face with death.
This is truly a gift....no matter what happens...my eyes have been opened to a whole new world...I accept this path of knowledge...I welcome the experience...
through my book with Dr. Bahador...we can offer love and compassion to all who connect with us... without Cancer ...I would not have met this extraordinary healer who just happens to have trained within a traditional western model... who he is inside...what he transmits is an openness ...a curiosity that what he knows from training is not all he wants to understand and share with us has patients...he is strict...he is true to what is right and wrong within the legal parameters...he listens and trusts his patients...when I am in the office...waiting for my turn...the rooms with other waiting patients are quiet until he steps into the room and there is laughter ...then sitting alone ...we all start laughing too....it's hilarious...we all know it will be our turn to laugh....and maybe through the laughter and release...tears will come and the entire cycle starts again...we laugh...we cry....we share our deepest fears and we are most often lifted to our highest possibilities...I am so lucky to have caregivers who help me with my healing...it works...
None of us knows how death will come...it may be from the disease that we're given...it may be from some unknown circumstance down the road...I know of several young people who were taken by car accidents... no time to say good by...no time to clean up our "stuff". Perhaps some of us would prefer this type of exit...I am blessed with the reminder that death is simply a part of life and while I don't know the when...I can certainly control what happens during the remainder of my life.I can control what I do and what I say, day to day...moment by moment.
These are just some of the ways that help me live a clearer life...the possibility for healing:
Speaking your truth that is useful...opening your heart and sharing your inner most thoughts...telling the truth that is freeing ...saying you're sorry for mistakes...for behavior that is not...was not worthy ...spending time with friends or strangers who also lift each other and wish the highest good for themselves and the planet...allow for imperfections...then do your very best to clean them up with out being rigid or acting out of guilt...allow for growth...allow for the space to fall ...to be humbled...to be grateful for the lesson...then when you know better...do better. Let love and kindness emanate from you... within you...wake up with this grateful meti heart... and then go to sleep with the knowing that compassion is in you and awaits you when you awake to another beautiful day.
The current plan of one year of Taxol ...once every 4 weeks...has begun..11 more to go!!!! Yesterday was a great day...it was Dawn's ( chemo nurse) and Dr. Bahahdor's birthdays...we celebrated and shared much happiness. Shannon ( awesome staff front desk girl) bought me a vegan chocolate slice of cake so I could participate ....the real cake was an ice cream chocolate cake from cold stone...looked awesome...everyone said it was awesome...I loved mine as well...I love going to chemo...now calling it " Chemo Kamp" (miss-spelling is on purpose)...at least that's what Dan and I call it...we have so much fun...we also have deep and meaningful conversations...life changing conversations...
I am in a much better place in my heart...in my place in life from having Cancer...from having this experience...the wonderful people that I have met and continue to meet would not be in my life without this diagnosis. This is an opportunity to wake up and do and be all of the things that have brought me up to this point ...cancer has not been my only frightening obstacle...as life continues to offer challenges...
we have a choice with our life's experiences...our accumulative wisdom...to step up and rise up to the challenge with love in our hearts in the midst of the fear ...we can step up to the challenge with compassion for ourselves and others...even when and especially when we have a moment or two of doubt and pity and just when we're ready to give up...or give in ....we can crawl out of this abyss and find our place again...
What makes you happy??? What can you do for others??? How can you offer your heart in the purest way??? Are you giving and then angry about it??? Find that place where it's truly pure...it's possible.
We can look out of the window that is clear and see the beautiful clouds and the pouring rain that brings childhood smells ...the smell of concrete after the first rain...the smell of wet grass...the clouds that look like animals...the blue sky permeating between the clouds...or we can look out of A cloudy window and see something very different..you may not even have a chance to notice the clouds from a clear perception due to lack of clarity from the first view...the clouds and the rain are still there...our interpretation of the cloudy sky ...the rainy day...is not filled with light...instead...there is no hope ....no sense of smells ...so sense of anything but dread...when you find yourself here...reach out and ask for help...so many people are there for you and you may not know it...you may not realize that you are surrounded by loving souls who would wrap their arms around you and lift you to a better place. Do not give up!!!
I meet both types of people when I'm at Chemo Kamp...I meet all types of people when I'm out in the day to day living life the way we all spend our time...I learn so much from every one's interpretation...we all have so much to learn and even more to share...
I welcome your interpretations of your life...How do you handle obstacles???
Once I experience a few more of the chemo's of this maintenance plan...I will feel more comfortable renting space again and bringing back our group energy...I am so grateful for your ongoing support and love. It has and continues to hold up up during some turbulent times...you have reminded me of the power of that love.
Namaste,
Summer
I have GREAT news!!!!
My CA-125 is still 5... at this time I am still Cancer FREE... the focus is to maintain my status so that the possibility of re-occurrence becomes a smaller and smaller percentage...eventually...not possible at all.
I am healthy and clear...the transparency of clean cells is what I see...that's all that matters today...living in the moment...day to day...surrendering to the blessing of what having an illness can offer you...the wisdom that comes with coming face to face with death.
This is truly a gift....no matter what happens...my eyes have been opened to a whole new world...I accept this path of knowledge...I welcome the experience...
through my book with Dr. Bahador...we can offer love and compassion to all who connect with us... without Cancer ...I would not have met this extraordinary healer who just happens to have trained within a traditional western model... who he is inside...what he transmits is an openness ...a curiosity that what he knows from training is not all he wants to understand and share with us has patients...he is strict...he is true to what is right and wrong within the legal parameters...he listens and trusts his patients...when I am in the office...waiting for my turn...the rooms with other waiting patients are quiet until he steps into the room and there is laughter ...then sitting alone ...we all start laughing too....it's hilarious...we all know it will be our turn to laugh....and maybe through the laughter and release...tears will come and the entire cycle starts again...we laugh...we cry....we share our deepest fears and we are most often lifted to our highest possibilities...I am so lucky to have caregivers who help me with my healing...it works...
None of us knows how death will come...it may be from the disease that we're given...it may be from some unknown circumstance down the road...I know of several young people who were taken by car accidents... no time to say good by...no time to clean up our "stuff". Perhaps some of us would prefer this type of exit...I am blessed with the reminder that death is simply a part of life and while I don't know the when...I can certainly control what happens during the remainder of my life.I can control what I do and what I say, day to day...moment by moment.
These are just some of the ways that help me live a clearer life...the possibility for healing:
Speaking your truth that is useful...opening your heart and sharing your inner most thoughts...telling the truth that is freeing ...saying you're sorry for mistakes...for behavior that is not...was not worthy ...spending time with friends or strangers who also lift each other and wish the highest good for themselves and the planet...allow for imperfections...then do your very best to clean them up with out being rigid or acting out of guilt...allow for growth...allow for the space to fall ...to be humbled...to be grateful for the lesson...then when you know better...do better. Let love and kindness emanate from you... within you...wake up with this grateful meti heart... and then go to sleep with the knowing that compassion is in you and awaits you when you awake to another beautiful day.
The current plan of one year of Taxol ...once every 4 weeks...has begun..11 more to go!!!! Yesterday was a great day...it was Dawn's ( chemo nurse) and Dr. Bahahdor's birthdays...we celebrated and shared much happiness. Shannon ( awesome staff front desk girl) bought me a vegan chocolate slice of cake so I could participate ....the real cake was an ice cream chocolate cake from cold stone...looked awesome...everyone said it was awesome...I loved mine as well...I love going to chemo...now calling it " Chemo Kamp" (miss-spelling is on purpose)...at least that's what Dan and I call it...we have so much fun...we also have deep and meaningful conversations...life changing conversations...
I am in a much better place in my heart...in my place in life from having Cancer...from having this experience...the wonderful people that I have met and continue to meet would not be in my life without this diagnosis. This is an opportunity to wake up and do and be all of the things that have brought me up to this point ...cancer has not been my only frightening obstacle...as life continues to offer challenges...
we have a choice with our life's experiences...our accumulative wisdom...to step up and rise up to the challenge with love in our hearts in the midst of the fear ...we can step up to the challenge with compassion for ourselves and others...even when and especially when we have a moment or two of doubt and pity and just when we're ready to give up...or give in ....we can crawl out of this abyss and find our place again...
What makes you happy??? What can you do for others??? How can you offer your heart in the purest way??? Are you giving and then angry about it??? Find that place where it's truly pure...it's possible.
We can look out of the window that is clear and see the beautiful clouds and the pouring rain that brings childhood smells ...the smell of concrete after the first rain...the smell of wet grass...the clouds that look like animals...the blue sky permeating between the clouds...or we can look out of A cloudy window and see something very different..you may not even have a chance to notice the clouds from a clear perception due to lack of clarity from the first view...the clouds and the rain are still there...our interpretation of the cloudy sky ...the rainy day...is not filled with light...instead...there is no hope ....no sense of smells ...so sense of anything but dread...when you find yourself here...reach out and ask for help...so many people are there for you and you may not know it...you may not realize that you are surrounded by loving souls who would wrap their arms around you and lift you to a better place. Do not give up!!!
I meet both types of people when I'm at Chemo Kamp...I meet all types of people when I'm out in the day to day living life the way we all spend our time...I learn so much from every one's interpretation...we all have so much to learn and even more to share...
I welcome your interpretations of your life...How do you handle obstacles???
Once I experience a few more of the chemo's of this maintenance plan...I will feel more comfortable renting space again and bringing back our group energy...I am so grateful for your ongoing support and love. It has and continues to hold up up during some turbulent times...you have reminded me of the power of that love.
Namaste,
Summer
posted by Summer @ 9:11 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
Summer! You are such an inspiration. You are LOVE! Your words are so wise and sweet and loving. I am in awe of your open heart. It is wonderful to hear you are co-authoring a book with Dr. Bandur - a miracle worker. I am happy to hear that you have many friends on your path because I often think it must be lonely to have an illness--just ourselves and God--but by the sound of it, you just shattered that perception of mine!
Yes, I feel sad for that women too because she lives in such fear of her own death. She holds on tightly to her ego. So, like you, I send her blessings that she will find peace inside before that time comes and may she find inside herself your gift of love, wisdom and compassion.
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