Dear Friends,

I haven't written on the blog for a while...I sent out the general email instead this time...as most of you know my Ca-125 was at 4 the last time...very good news...I just met with Dr. Bahador again to discuss our book. Although, it's going to be a long process...it's going to happen...I am working on both books at the same time...

I have also come to realize that I have several food allergies...this discovery has been over the course of several years ...it's also come to my attention again as I discover symptoms that come and go and seem to cause other symptoms that are of more concern.

Years ago...I experienced ongoing stomach aches...these stomach aches were the cause of several hospital visits as well as numerous expensive tests...only to be told that nothing was wrong with me...or ...perhaps I was under a lot of stress...it wasn't until I was in my 30's that a regular family Dr. in Del Mar...came up with lactose intolerance...after experimenting with dairy enzymes...my symptoms went away.

Little did I know at that time that other allergies and confusion about my body...my diet...would follow. All of this time, I was living a healthy lifestyle or so I thought. How would one really know...assuming we're doing our best...reading about health....choosing what we are told is healthy...or as Maya Angelou says..."When you know better, you do better." That is at least how I would step one foot in front of the other.

About 15 years ago or so...I started to get what I thought were spider bites all over my hips...thighs buttocks and sometimes around my elbows...I even went to Dermatologists... I was sometimes told that I had staff infections...maybe from the excess sweating and being exposed to bacteria in a gym environment...and other times I was treated for spider bites...it was very confusing and frustrating as I thought I had all of these spiders in my clothes and yet could never find them...it was a mystery that came and went but mostly came...this has been ongoing even now.

Then... 5 years ago...I was diagnosed with Hep C and Melanoma within weeks of the other...I had Melanoma Surgery and was treated for Hep C with interferon and riboviron for 6 months...I have been free of both Melanoma and Help C for 5 years. At the time of my Hep C testing...extensive blood tests were run and I was told that an earlier diagnosis of Celiac/ Sprue (gluten allergy) was mis-diagnosed and that meant I really did not have Celiac/ Sprue. I was relieved but not really effected as I didn't really follow the wheat free/ gluten free diet anyway...not sure why...I was young and I guess my symptoms were so vague that I didn't really pay attention. My original diagnosis was done through an intestinal biopsy which I now have come to know is the most reliable. It's probable that I truly do have Celiac/Sprue.

I continued to experience things like bloating...the occasional bites or staff or ? ...all at the same time I was going through peri-menopause which led to assumptions about symptoms that continued for years... The symptoms would come and go until I began to experience deep pelvic bone pain which now we know would lead me to discover Ovarian Cancer.

Another interesting note: While I was working in the gym environment, I was enjoying body building and the body building diets...I was drinking a vitamin drink that had Nutrasweet...I heated this drink every morning for breakfast for a few years...recent research links ovarian cancer and Nutrasweet...another interesting link...what I know now is worth so much ....we just do our best. During that time I also experienced many bladder and kidney infections due to the extreme diets...and high protein at that time. Not sure what is related or what is coincidental...but interesting nonetheless.

Going back...earlier symptoms from a young girl...severe stomach aches...stomach ulcer diagnosed at 5 years old...I was a sensitive little girl...took on the woes of the world at a very young age...many of the theories when I was young was my stomach aches were a result of my mental state...smart ....sweet but oh so sensitive...lots of reasons for this sensitivity...will go into that at another time...all those years mis-diagnosed ...I had a dairy allergy...WOW!!!

For years I ate more soy products ...substituting for the lack of dairy...I raised my son on more soy and healthy clean food...I've always been interested in how to improve my health and my diet ...when you start your life as a little sick girl ...you are more inclined to search for answers...alternatives....lots of questions....I also continued to eat grains and eggs ect....occasionally I would try a diet here and there that would exclude certain foods either for cleansing purposes or just for fun to discover more information about myself...I also suffered from severe migraines...I don't remember when they first began...I know I had them for the last 20 years ...so for sure they started around 30 years old. I have now tracked the migraines to a Soy allergy.

I have recently discovered that the so called spider bites are allergic reactions to eggs and possibly gluten.

Here's my crazy list of allergies:

Dairy...Soy...Eggs...Gluten...Wheat...

Cats...Latex...Tar...

Medications: Demerol, Morphine, Penicillin, Vicodin, Valium, Codeine, sensitive to Fentanyl

These discoveries may or may not be linked to Cancer or other illnesses...it's very interesting...I will continue to explore and notice relationships so that I can help myself and other's live a happier and healthier life.

At this time I am going to stay on a diet that is gluten free, dairy free, soy free and wheat free. I am also not eating any fish at this time. I was including fish in my diet recently but decided to experiment without eating it for some period of time. So...I am eating a diet full of raw fruits and veggies and about 20 % cooked . Soups ...brown rice...sweet potatoes...steamed veggies...etc. It's interesting to find out how much gluten is in everything....so this transition is as we speak ...learning a new although not that different of a diet regimen. If any of you have any comments or ideas...let me know...perhaps some of you have noticed relationships with your diet and your health...I would be interested in hearing about it.

It's been challenging for me as I don't want to be this sensitive....to anything...It takes me back to that overly sensitive little girl and makes me feel weak. It doesn't really matter for it's happening to me anyway...I don't want to continue to be sick so I am committed to doing whatever is necessary to be healthy.

In addition to the diet , the most important... is my attitude toward all of this ...my attitude to life in general.

Fortunately, I have discovered tools that allow me to rest my thoughts peacefully...to embrace my life and appreciate everything that happens to me...the good and the bad ...to allow myself the idea that I don't have to be attached to any of it...as challenging as that is...it's possible...

Through my commitment to yoga and the mind/body fitness that I do for myself and other's ...I notice a difference...through Qigong...I can create an awareness...an energy that supports me ...through my ongoing studies of Buddhism, Taoism as well as other influences that bring me to those deeper layers ...I notice a difference....I drive slower...I get upset less...I'm calmer overall....and when I am angry...I move through it quicker...

I am happy. I love and appreciate my life....for as long as it's meant for me to be alive. Sometimes ...I am afraid to think I might not be here forever....I feel afraid that it might be time...none of us really know when it's our time...so the only thing to do is to LIVE well with honesty and compassion....I know this for sure.

I am collecting stories and ideas for my books...if any of you feel you have something to share, I can interview you or/and you can email me or mail me any of your thoughts...please do this soon as I'm busy organizing my blog book now...if you have suggestions or experiences that you feel you would like other's to know about...please share.

When I re-read this blog entry...I can see how sharing all of this can sound somewhat depressing...I lived these experiences and challenges and often times it was depressing...the challenges continue...for what ever reason I am facing the things I face...in Buddhism they would explain it as Karma...in other traditions...something else...I do know that I have peeled away the layers that cover us and protect us from living life fully...these experiences have taught me to be more honest with myself and others...to allow the layers of pain and confusion to be a catalyst for a deeper understanding of life...mine and others. I am no longer depressed by my experiences.

I am always here for you with love and compassion. I'm willing and open to know how to improve my life as well as walk beside you as a companion in this world that can sometimes make us feel alone and stressed. We can walk beside each other with strength and ongoing deep wisdom.

With love,
Summer