Dear Friends,
Last Friday 9/21/07 was a very emotional day for me. This was the first day I missed chemo due to my decision...(blessed by my support team) ....to stop my maintenance treatment. I don't know what life will bring me...I do know I'm clear and happy about my decision today!!!
Dr. Bahador's office is full of love and even though we are all facing some pretty serious shit...a place full of laughter and life. Between Dawn ( the chemo nurse) sharing stories about her grandchildren...singing ( don't quit your day job) and just generally loving on all of us...and Robin ...Dr. Bahador's Nurse...ready to laugh ...loves my patchouli body lotions...she is sensitive and loving ...ready to hold you and ready to let you stand strong...she has been with me since the beginning...I can talk to her about anything...both Dawn and Robin offer support in an environment of life and death and in between...they show support with sensitivity and compassion...they are ready to cry with us and laugh with us...they are not afraid to show their emotions...
Friday was a day of emotion for all of us...Chemo Kamp has always been a place for me to feel nurtured by these women ...by the staff ...by the other Kamp Women...raw ...powerful emotions and experiences...to decide not to go anymore creates immense joy and then you feel this twinge of sadness...how will I handle not sharing with them anymore??? Of course, we all figure out how to live without chemo...however...I don't know if we ever stop missing the love and care we receive from places like Dr. Bahador's office...thankfully...I will be visiting them often...to hug and say hi....to interview other Kamp participants for the books.To sit in the Chemo room and just drink in the healing...it's the best spa I've ever been to...
It just came to me that having cancer has been like musical chairs....the music of life is playing and we all are going about our lives and then the music stops....we all scatter to find our grounding...sometimes we get to find our place...sit in our chairs....once in a while...the chair is not there...it's our time...and then the music starts to play again and the circle of life continues....we all take turns sitting in the chair where life seems endless...as if it's one continuous party....and we find ourselves sitting next to the person that stumbled to get to her chair...or lost her chair....and we are there sitting in ours...perhaps we want to get up and offer our seat to someone else...watching some do well from chemo and surgeries and some have not...it's very real...as much love surrounds us...it's still real...as much as I want to go out into the halls and scream for more chairs....it becomes real.
My blood work is holding consistently and I've been cancer free for several months now...After 11 cycles of chemo...I left Dr. Bahador's on friday with clarity and peace...I don't know what chair I will sit in along the way...I don't know when my chair is given to another....none of us know....I am blessed either way...I have learned that it's not the cancer that is the blessing...the gift....it's the amazing experiences...the loving people that I've met....the reminder to live every moment with a commitment to be kind...to be aware...it doesn't mean that everyone else will respond in the same way....but you just keep going ...stay open and loving...know when to be a warrior ....know when to step aside...
I also want to thank the team of wonderful friends who continuously brought me food after each chemo...this would have never happened without Fatma Hansen taking charge of the food rotation from the very beginning...then she passed the torch to Susan Budner and all of you lovingly communicated with her and allowed the flow to continue....Thank you Fatma and Susan for your generous time and love...thank you to all the food team...your healing love infused every bite...I am so grateful.
I'm still negotiating with a few locations to bring back the group classes...I should know soon...my goal is to bring back classes by November. My website is still showing the basic info...this website will be updated as soon as the details are known.
Remember: I will be out of town attending the retreat/teacher training for Qigong from Oct 12th-21st...in Ashland, Oregon. I will not be able to receive cell calls or emails....feel free to leave messages and I'll respond when I can.
Namaste,
Summer
Last Friday 9/21/07 was a very emotional day for me. This was the first day I missed chemo due to my decision...(blessed by my support team) ....to stop my maintenance treatment. I don't know what life will bring me...I do know I'm clear and happy about my decision today!!!
Dr. Bahador's office is full of love and even though we are all facing some pretty serious shit...a place full of laughter and life. Between Dawn ( the chemo nurse) sharing stories about her grandchildren...singing ( don't quit your day job) and just generally loving on all of us...and Robin ...Dr. Bahador's Nurse...ready to laugh ...loves my patchouli body lotions...she is sensitive and loving ...ready to hold you and ready to let you stand strong...she has been with me since the beginning...I can talk to her about anything...both Dawn and Robin offer support in an environment of life and death and in between...they show support with sensitivity and compassion...they are ready to cry with us and laugh with us...they are not afraid to show their emotions...
Friday was a day of emotion for all of us...Chemo Kamp has always been a place for me to feel nurtured by these women ...by the staff ...by the other Kamp Women...raw ...powerful emotions and experiences...to decide not to go anymore creates immense joy and then you feel this twinge of sadness...how will I handle not sharing with them anymore??? Of course, we all figure out how to live without chemo...however...I don't know if we ever stop missing the love and care we receive from places like Dr. Bahador's office...thankfully...I will be visiting them often...to hug and say hi....to interview other Kamp participants for the books.To sit in the Chemo room and just drink in the healing...it's the best spa I've ever been to...
It just came to me that having cancer has been like musical chairs....the music of life is playing and we all are going about our lives and then the music stops....we all scatter to find our grounding...sometimes we get to find our place...sit in our chairs....once in a while...the chair is not there...it's our time...and then the music starts to play again and the circle of life continues....we all take turns sitting in the chair where life seems endless...as if it's one continuous party....and we find ourselves sitting next to the person that stumbled to get to her chair...or lost her chair....and we are there sitting in ours...perhaps we want to get up and offer our seat to someone else...watching some do well from chemo and surgeries and some have not...it's very real...as much love surrounds us...it's still real...as much as I want to go out into the halls and scream for more chairs....it becomes real.
My blood work is holding consistently and I've been cancer free for several months now...After 11 cycles of chemo...I left Dr. Bahador's on friday with clarity and peace...I don't know what chair I will sit in along the way...I don't know when my chair is given to another....none of us know....I am blessed either way...I have learned that it's not the cancer that is the blessing...the gift....it's the amazing experiences...the loving people that I've met....the reminder to live every moment with a commitment to be kind...to be aware...it doesn't mean that everyone else will respond in the same way....but you just keep going ...stay open and loving...know when to be a warrior ....know when to step aside...
I also want to thank the team of wonderful friends who continuously brought me food after each chemo...this would have never happened without Fatma Hansen taking charge of the food rotation from the very beginning...then she passed the torch to Susan Budner and all of you lovingly communicated with her and allowed the flow to continue....Thank you Fatma and Susan for your generous time and love...thank you to all the food team...your healing love infused every bite...I am so grateful.
I'm still negotiating with a few locations to bring back the group classes...I should know soon...my goal is to bring back classes by November. My website is still showing the basic info...this website will be updated as soon as the details are known.
Remember: I will be out of town attending the retreat/teacher training for Qigong from Oct 12th-21st...in Ashland, Oregon. I will not be able to receive cell calls or emails....feel free to leave messages and I'll respond when I can.
Namaste,
Summer
posted by Summer @ 7:15 AM
5 Comments:
At 8:42 AM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Summer,
I suport your decisions in your journey.
with love, Sylvania
At 9:46 AM,
Anonymous said…
Congratulations Summer! Such wonderful news. I look forward to seeing you out and about again. It must feel great to be back out in the world again doing your wonderful work as a yoga teacher and healer. And returning with so many deep and powerful lessons of healing, faith and inner strength. God and his grace be with you as you set out on yet another new adventure in life.
At 12:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
It is our great fortune to know you, and to be able to share in your amazing journey. You are a gift to each and every one of us...
Susan
At 3:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Summer~Your decision is a blessing, because you are choosing it to be!As a dear friend, Betsy, said of her own journey through cancer: "I knew I could choose for my cancer to make me bitter or better,and I choose to be better!"We are all better for having you in our lives, and blessed by the sharing of your experience. Love and Continued Healing to You, Susan A.
At 3:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Summer,
Hi from Virginia. You really are a wonderful friend for all of us. It really is amazing to think of all that you have been through on this journey...how far you have come...watch where you are heading...and look forward to your decisions and guidance in the future. I really miss the West coast, although people here are sooo polite and welcoming. I am very grateful you have this blog site. Hopefully you got the CD with the pictures. We have a computer now..Yeah hoo!
Love and miss Everyone,
Amy J
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